this is all just to say: carpe diem before the glaciers drown us.

thinking about the infinity of space doesn't make me too insane as of late.
i don't mind feeling this small anymore. for right now at least. i have found a level of comfort in my splinter of this ever growing fucked up world.
i feel small here, but i don't mind. because i don't need to know everyone right now. i don't need to know everything or see everything yet. [it will all still be there, waiting. as long as im alive and able to change at least]. why would you want to anyway? there is so much overwhelming and tedious backlash in that. i'd feel like there would be so much expected of me.
for now i am small, i am my own. i have the people and the things here who and which make me feel big. they make me feel like i am strong. like i belong. like i am something i cannot see.
which has become one of the most important things to me:
i will never see myself as they see me. there is so much beauty in that.

this is to all of you:

there is no cure for a broken heart, but there is always hope.
like, i hope you can all grow the parts of your hearts back that you lost.
because they are mine now.
see: this is to all of you

you know who you are. the past four months had been dragging like lethargic years, and you picked yourselves from yourselves and pulled at me for a little bit when i needed you most. no matter how completely aimless my wander became, no matter how many times you knew...just knew what i was going to come to you about again.
no matter how much you didn't even know me.
you were the strangers i bumped into on empty streets at night who smiled. instead of taking my frazzled hair into your fists and pushing me down like i needed you to.
or thought i needed you to.
my heart was obviously not stuck where i thought it was. look how far i've come already.